#AntiBullyingWeek

To mark anti-bullying week in the UK, we’ve partnered up with LYNX, the UK’s leading male grooming brand on their recent ‘Ditch Labels, Ditch Bullying’ campaign. The campaign challenges guys, including some of our favourite influencers Manchester United footballer Marouane Fellaini, TV personality Ollie Locke, grime star Not3s and rapper Big Shaq to quite literally destroy the words they’ve been personally labelled with.

As part of the campaign, LYNX have launched a limited-edition ‘Unlabelled’ kit, featuring body spray and shower gel where the brand has removed its own label to promote our message, with 100% of the profits from each kit sold being donated to help fund our crucial anti-bullying support.

Scroll on to see which labels got squished 😉

 

Marouane Fellaini

 

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Not3s

 

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Ollie Locke

 

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Big Shaq / Michael Dapaah

 

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DJ Larizzle

 

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You can buy the limited-edition ‘Unlabelled’ kit here.
Read more about our global partnership with Lynx here.
If you’re currently affected by bullying, help and support is available here.

Things like self-esteem and confidence take the biggest knock as a result of bullying. We know this from the years of research we have undertaken in our Annual Bullying Survey. We internalise the mean comments and try to rationalise why we might’ve been excluded, singled out and picked on.

Eventually, we come to the conclusion that… “it must be me 😳”

In doing so we convince ourselves that there’s something wrong with us and before you know it…. hey presto! You’ve got yourself a whole bunch of social anxiety, confidence issues and low self-esteem to contend with.

The worst thing about this is that it follows us around for ages and it’s difficult to shake, even after the bullying has ended or been resolved. We’re left feeling low and vulnerable.

So, what can we do about it? The answer is simple but not always so easy to achieve: we can learn to love ourselves.

The experts at Ditch the Label put their heads together to come up with 50 things you can do to give yourself a little boost – try to tick off every single one and we guarantee you’ll start feeling better about yourself.

50 tips to rebuild your confidence

Try some of these out:

  1. Tell yourself that you are enough
  2. Change up your hairstyle
  3. Watch your favourite movie
  4. Talk to that mate that always makes you giggle
  5. Run faster than you’ve ever run before
  6. Make something you’ve never made before
  7. Shout out a window really loud about how amazing you are (we dare you)
  8. Help a mate
  9. Spend time with a puppy
  10. Write a list of all your best qualities
  11. Write a list of all the good things in your life – add to it every day
  12. Do something that you know you’re really good at
  13. Accept a compliment by saying ‘thank you’
  14. Unfollow/block all the things on social media which make you feel worthless
  15. Ask for help more
  16. Build something
  17. Complete a video game
  18. Find a sense of community (*cough hint cough*)
  19. Say yes more to fun/new things
  20. Learn a martial art
  21. Take up a new sport
  22. Literally say nice things to yourself in the mirror (a bit cringe at first, but trust us, it works 😉)
  23. Be kinder to the people closest to you
  24. Read about people who have similar experiences to you
  25. Talk to people who have similar experiences to you
  1. Treat yourself once in a while
  2. Allow yourself to laugh more
  3. Be outside more
  4. Hang out with people who make you feel good
  5. Join a forum (*cough hint cough*)
  6. Understand that the reality is, no one has it easy
  7. Be creative
  8. Practise mindful colouring
  9. Understand that it takes time
  10. Accept who you are and own it
  11. Learn about ways to stand up for yourself
  12. Learn to say no
  13. Hang out with a kitten😍
  14. Discover a new band
  15. Start your own band
  16. Be more honest
  17. Meditate
  18. Be critical of everything you read online
  19. Go shopping
  20. Cook a meal for your family/friends
  21. Join a club
  22. Organise activities for friends/family
  23. Celebrate your achievements no matter how big or small
  24. List the things you love about yourself
  25. List the things you are most grateful for

Got any to add? Stick em’ in Community – we want to hear how you stay fabulous 😍 @DitchtheLabel

Give It Up… Our Anti-Bullying Week fundraiser

This Anti-Bullying Week (12th to 16th November 2018) we’re asking everyone to give something up for Ditch the Label in return for donations and sponsorship. With your help we can increase the support we provide to young people who need us, helping to fund another expert support mentor.

What are you going to give up? It could be anything from social media, junk food or your biggest fear. So, what are you waiting for? Start fundraising now.

Why should you get involved?

Cyberbullying is one of the things young people worry about the most. As a result of being abused online, 41% felt anxious, 37% became depressed and 26% had suicidal thoughts. Yet 69% of the people we asked admitted doing something abusive towards another person online.

third of all teens have experienced cyber bullying, cyberbullying stats

The difference you’ll make

This is Rhianna (Hi Rhianna! 👋).

Rhianna

Rhianna is a Ditch the Label Digital Support Mentor. Rhianna is trained to help young people deal with challenges like cyberbullying, giving them emotional and practical support to minimise the impact of bullying on their lives. However, with 1 in 3 children experiencing cyberbullying, we can’t currently reach everyone who needs our help.

Make it happen!

Getting involved with Give It Up for Ditch the Label is easy. There are 5 simple steps which you can follow below:

give it up for ditch the label, anti-bullying campaign, anti-bullying week, bullying campaign

You want me to give up what!?

Here’s some ideas from us but feel free to go your own way.

  • Give up social media
  • Give up junk food
  • Give up gaming
  • Give up a uniform
  • Give up cake
  • Give up your voice
  • Give up jewellery
  • Give up your profile pic
  • Give up not answering your mum’s phone calls
  • Give up fizzy drinks
  • Give up your phone
  • Give up reality tv shows
  • Give up emojis
  • Give up coffee
  • Give up your bad habits
  • Give up Netflix
  • Give up makeup
  • Give up meat
  • Give up dating apps
  • Give up your fears

*If you are looking to fundraise for Ditch the Label, check out our guide to online fundraising here: https://www.ditchthelabel.org/how-to-fundraise-online/

Ditch the Label’s 101 Fundraising Ideas

It took them 2 days but our fundraising team did it. They rose to the challenge of collectively coming up with 101 different fundraising ideas for your creative inspiration. Whether you’re planning to take over the world with your fundraising or just looking for modest ways to help, we have the perfect campaign idea for you. Once you’ve got your idea, start your fundraising page or get in touch and we’ll help you with the next steps.

Read on for 101 Ditch the Label fundraising ideas.

fundraising, ideas, 101

101, fundraising, ideas

 

  1. Ditch or Dare – Get your friends to challenge you with a bunch of dares.
  2. Host a dinner party – This is pretty much a win-win situation. You get to see your friends, they get to sample your delicious cooking and at the end of the evening, everyone chips into a Ditch the Label donation (chips…get it?)
  3. Go silent – give up your voice for the day in return for sponsorship.
  4. Recycle – why not recycle your old phone, tablet and gadgets and donate the money to Ditch the Label.
  5. Go on a (digital) holiday – Calling all social media addicts! Give up technology for a day in return for sponsorships.
  6. Have a clear out at home – Clear out your closet of unwanted junk and donate the funds raised – you could do this offline with a car-boot sale or online using eBay
  7. Jump from a crane – face your fear of heights and do a charity bungee jump for Ditch the Label.
  8. Do something for a mile – Skip, swim, jog, cycle, crawl – whatever you want, just do it for a mile.
  9. Do a marathon – what better excuse do you need to exercise? Your legs will thank you for it and your medal selfie is going to look literally so cool. Paint is optional.
  10. Quit – Give up a bad habit and donate the money to us instead! It could be anything from smoking, chocolate or makeup.
  11. Run a pub quiz – Just take it from us, it may be best to ban smartphones for the evening. It’s a really great and fun way to raise some money for a great cause (alcohol is optional).
  12. Get married – Yeah, that’s right. Get married! Instead of asking for wedding gifts, why not ask your loved ones to donate the money to Ditch the Label instead?
  13. Talk in third person for the day – In return for sponsorships, set a day where you refer to yourself in third-person. Consider making a video of your day to share online – mainly for the entertainment of others (us).
  14. Get active – Organise a charity football, touch rugby or tennis match and use it to raise money for Ditch the Label.. and to get one up on your best mates because you’ll be destined to be on the winning team.
  15. Save your change – You’ll be surprised at how much loose change you’ll accumulate over the period of a month. Save it and donate it.
  16. Host a party – Just please, for the sake of our legal team – don’t advertise it publically to randomers on social media! Host a party or gig and incorporate some cool fundraising activities.
  17. Auction away – Why not reach out to businesses and celebrities for donated products and experiences to be auctioned off for Ditch the Label?
  18. Take a packed lunch – Perfect if you’re addicted to eating out. Use the money you’ve saved to donate to Ditch the Label.
  19. Shave it off – Dare we say it… no wait, we can’t. Okay, deep breaths. We can do this. Why don’t… youhaveyourhairshavedoffandyouuseittoraisemoney? There you said it, your call!
  20. Pop-up car wash – Rally the troops and spend the day cleaning cars in return for donations to Ditch the Label. You’d be surprised at how fun it can be – honest!
  21. Channel your 90s diva – Yo. Here’s the story from A to Z, you wanna get with me? You better listen carefully. You’ve been challenged to speak in nothing but Spice Girls lyrics for the entire day in return for sponsorship. Wannabe or is it a Viva Forever? Please, Say You’ll Be There.
  22. Couture it out – Collab with local businesses to run a Ditch the Label diversity-themed fashion show.
  23. Cocktail fundraiser – book a mixologist and partner with local brands to host a cocktail evening fundraiser!
  24. Trigger word – Do a ‘trigger word’ challenge – pick a word out of a hat and whenever anyone mentions it you have to do an action such as a dance, song or Vine quote.
  25. Hand it over – Let your parents or other half take over your social media presence for the day to raise funds (muahaha)
  26. Iron it out – What we mean by this is, your friends and family or even colleagues are going to pay you to iron their clothes the day.
  27. Switch it up – Use the opposite hand for the day. So, if you’re right-handed, you’re not left-handed and vice-versa. What could possibly go wrong…
  28. Quit smoking – …and use the money you’ve saved to donate to Ditch the Label. Your health wins and so do we!
  29. Flippy floppy – So a sponsored flip-flop wearing week! No matter what the weather is.
  30. Swear box – Install it at home or in the office. Whenever anyone swears, you’ve got to donate £1 to us!
  31. Tie yourself to a buddy day – It’s like a three-legged race only there isn’t a race and it lasts all day.
  32. Change the world – By attempting a world record to fundraise for Ditch the Label. Ambitious.. but still you wanted 101 ideas!
  33. Makeup – Let your partner or a small child do your make-up for the day. It ‘might‘ actually look amazing.
  34. Get spooked – Spend the night in a haunted house. On your own. Without a light. OK…maybe 1 light.
  35. Accent challenge – Change your accent for the day/week in return for sponsorships. No doubt people will sponsor you to change it back.
  36. Inside out – A classic! Wear your clothes inside out for the day. Imagine that… Major #ThugLife points coming your way
  37. Guess the number – It could be sweets in a jar, weight of an object or anything else you can think of. Charge for each number people want.
  38. Say yes – You’re banned from saying no to anything for the day (unless it’s illegal/immoral/corrupt). Sound fun? Yes? Yes.
  39. Donkey Kong it – Host a classic video game competition with friends and colleagues. How quickly will you get bored? Never!
  40. Eat Green – Literally. For a week, eat nothing but things that are green in colour. (please speak to a dietician/doctor first)
  41. Auction your skills – Can you offer some gardening, creative or spreadsheet skills for a day?
  42. Wax it off- Wax your legs, chest or everything if you’re feeling overly ambitious
  43. Turn it off – If you’re a TV or Netflix addict, cut it out of your system for the week
  44. Sports day – Approach your local school to get all the kids involved, or how about doing an adult one?
  45. Repeat – Use a certain word at the end of everything sentence okay. For the day okay. To raise money okay. Okay okay?
  46. Be kind – Not like you shouldn’t be anyway. Spend a sponsored day doing random acts of kindness.
  47. Sing it out – Spend the day in a musical – yes, it is what you think. No talking, just singing.
  48. Paint it out – Get sponsored to walk around with face paint on all day. Think of the possibilities… Lion, giraffe, clown. Endless!
  49. Yoga challenge – Host a pay-to-enter Yoga challenge with sudden death if you are fall out of the increasingly difficult poses.
  50. You Vs. Food – The ultimate challenge. Just try to avoid too many chillies… we don’t think we need to explain why
  51. Host a tea or coffee morning – Because it is the British thing to do
  52. Battle of the bands – Work with local venues and bands to build a local singing competition. All profits go to us.
  53. Ditch the holiday – Ditch your summer travels and donate the money to Ditch the Label? Who needs a week in the sun with the great British weather
  54. Dye your hair – Why not don a crazy colour in the name of Ditch of Label.
  55. Non-uniform days – Approach local schools to see if they would be willing to ditch the uniform for the day.
  56. Sing your heart out – How about organising a karaoke night? Can’t sing? Don’t worry, that’s what karaoke is for!
  57. There’s no harm in asking – Ask for a discount in every shop you visit and donate your savings.
  58. Organise a treasure hunt – Tune into your inner child and hunt for that pot of gold. Or chocolate! Whichever is more affordable..
  59. Switch it out – Swap clothes with your partner for the day to raise money.
  60. Turn off the games console – How long can you go without your faithful Sega Megadrive? PS4? Xbox?
  61. Sponsored juice cleanse – Basically drink nothing but vitamin-packed juices (please speak to a dietician/doctor first)
  62. Christmas is around the corner – Ditch your normal clothes and see how the colour red suits you.
  63. Organise a 24-hour event – You could run, swim, sit, stand, kiss or anything that you see fit.
  64. Round up the village -How about organising a village fayre? It’ll be hard work but will pay dividends.
  65. Clubs & Pubs – Approach clubs & pubs to see if they would fancy teaming up for themed nights and events.
  66. Don a weird wig – We know they’re itchy but it is for charity…
  67. Board game competition – Got any classic board games lying around? No? Well, we’re sure someone still owns some!
  68. Gough all out – Why not organise an exhibition with local artists and performers
  69. Egg and Spoon race – Just like when you were a kid but that egg and especially the spoon it ‘balances’ on is a lot smaller now that you’re all grown up.
  70. To grow or not to grow – Ever been curious how long you can grow your whiskers?
  71. Box-set marathon – Most of us do this every Sunday anyway, but we all know you want to watch every episode of Breaking Bad again
  72. No pants! – Can you get sponsored to not wear underwear for the week? No idea, but we do know you’ll save yourself some laundry
  73. Burns night – You don’t have to be Scottish to enjoy this great night, so get the haggis and scotch out
  74. Darts – Now we don’t know if anyone actually plays darts… but if you do, here’s your chance to do what you do and fundraise!
  75. Free hugs! – Who doesn’t like a hug! See if you can get away with charging for your cuddles to the entire office
  76. Make-up / Make-down – If you do, don’t If you don’t, do.
  77. Bakeathon – It’s all in the name. See how many cakes you can bake in a short amount of time and sell them raise funds.
  78. PJ Day – We’re sure your boss would love you to turn up on Monday morning in your jim-jams…
  79. It’s always sunny in… indoors – Ever worn your sunnies for 24 hours? It’s great, trust us!
  80. Get the maps out – Damping your friends in the middle of nowhere and letting them race back sounds fun right? Get them sponsored to do it.
  81. Bike ride – There are some brave souls out there that cycle the length of the country in the name of charity… just saying.
  82. Community helpers – Pick up litter or get the lawnmower out. Help local residents and ask for small donations.
  83. Summers here – Host a charity BBQ. Do we need to give you any more of an excuse?
  84. Everyone loves the movies – Get your hands on a projector and host a cinema evening. Or, approach local cinemas to see if they can help.
  85. Bingo! – Apologies if you are in the bingo hall right now but it’s a classic fundraiser so it had to be on the list.
  86. Tennis-athon – We’ve no idea if we just made up a new form of event, but either way it sounds good to us
  87. 24 selfies – That’s probably what you’ll take this month but how about doing it in one day? Every hour, on the hour.
  88. Going back to singing – …public places are always a great place to do it.
  89. YouTube yourself – The internet can be a great way of fundraising. Film yourself doing a charitable act to raise funds.
  90. We all have phobias – We know it’s a bit cruel but it’s the reactions that are funny (not you being scared). Face your fears for us!
  91. Do a raffle – Everyone loves a good ol’ raffle. Fun fact: Poundland sell raffle books… just saying.
  92. Silent auction – Great for the workplace or an event. Pool together and host a silent auction.. shhhh!
  93. Have a birthday – and just ask people to Ditch the Label in lieu of gifts. Perfect if you are difficult to buy for.
  94. Buy a t-shirt – Did you know that all of the profits from our merchandise goes straight to funding support?
  95. Fancy dress – Why not organise a fancy dress day at work, or use it as an excuse to host a party. Pay to enter.
  96. It’s Christmas – Instead of asking for presents, why not be totally selfless and ask them to donate the money to us instead?
  97. It’s Christmas part 2 – Why not reduce your Christmas gift budget and use the savings to donate to Ditch the Label?
  98. It’s Christmas part 3 – Or buy some of our merchandise as Christmas gifts – that way – everybody wins! Plus it’s all awesome
  99. Sell wristbands – Own a business or shop front? Contact us for information on how you can sell our merchandise at your POS
  100. Text to donate – Can’t be bothered with anything too heavy? Text DITC12 £10 to 70070 to donate £10
  101. Donate a % – Got a business? Why not donate a percentage of sales to Ditch the Label?

If you are looking to fundraise and need help, you can contact us here:

Talk to us

How to Stop Bullying Others: 7 Tips

We recently found that 1 in 2 people have bullied another person at least once. Bullying is one of the biggest issues currently affecting young people and we believe that we can overcome it, if we start to think differently about how we resolve things.

We believe that nobody is ever a bully. They may be bullying somebody, which is a behaviour, but it isn’t who they are as people. Our experts have compiled together 7 practical tips which are designed to help you stop bullying others by enabling you to understand your behaviors better and equipping you to resolve them in more effective ways.

1. You are not a bully

First and foremost, stop labeling yourself as a bully. It isn’t productive and will not benefit you. You may be bullying another person but that does not mean you are a bully. It is a behaviour and not your identity.

2. Understand why

Our research shows that there are a variety of reasons why people bully others. Bullying is a learned behaviour and is often used as a coping mechanism for a stressful situation. Common examples could include being bullied by somebody else, abuse, a traumatic situation or a stressful home life. In addition, we also know that some people bully others because they may feel competitive towards them or they may not fully understand an element about them. Once you are able to gain an understanding as to why you are motivated to bully others, this will give you hugely valuable insight.

3. Seek a resolve

Once you have identified the source of your behaviour, it is important to find a productive way in which you can resolve the situation. If you find this difficult, we would recommend speaking with an adult who you trust.

Alternatively, you can contact us or give our friends at Childline a call on 0800 11 11. Believe us when we tell you that you are deserving of support.

4. Reprogram your stress

What is the one thing that we all have in common? Stress. We all feel it, but it’s important to recognise stress and deal with it accordingly. By that, we mean – don’t store it up and let it fester, as it can have significant impacts on your mood and health. Give our Stress Reprogramming system a try.

5. Speak about it

You’d be surprised at how powerful it can be to just sit down with somebody who you trust and talk about everything that is bothering you. A problem shared, really can be a problem halved. It may be worth buddying up and going through our Stress Reprogramming exercise with somebody who you trust.

6. Is it a good strategy?

Pulling somebody else down will never, ever take you any higher. Using bullying as a coping mechanism for something stressful in your life is only going to make things worse; not just for you but also for the person who is at the receiving end of the bullying.

Want daily positivity and inspiration? Follow us on Instagram!

7. Understand the impact

To you, it may not seem serious, but to another person, the impact could be significant. For every 10 people who are bullied, 3 of them will self-harm, 1 will go on to have a failed suicide attempt and 1 will develop an eating disorder. Additionally, we know that people who have been bullied, on average, achieve lower grades and therefore the bullying could reduce their future career prospects.

Above everything, we would encourage you to please speak to somebody and seek the support available.

This could be a Ditch the Label Mentor who will offer non judgmental advice and support.

If you’d like to chat, join our community today – we’re here for you.

For many people, bullying is what shapes a large part of their experience in life as a teenager or young adult. Although there are many different types of bullying that some experience on a daily basis, this doesn’t make any one of them lesser than the others.

As part of our continued commitment to monitoring and evaluating the climate of bullying, we consistently find that approximately 1 in 2 teens experience some degree of bullying, with up to 7 in 10 experiencing cyberbullying.

Signs that a teen is being bullied:

  • Their moods. People who have been bullied will often have a sense of low-worth and this can be seen through their mood and attitude. They will often lose motivation for certain things and tasks that they might otherwise enjoy.
  • A loss in appetite. This ties in with a change in mood since we all know that when you are feeling low, the last thing that you probably want to do is eat. This can cause a large amount of problems if it is happening on a regular basis.
  • A desire for isolation. With people becoming more and more reliant on the internet and the things on it, the web can be a very dangerous place for young people. Through our research, we have found that there has been a rise in young people spending more time online, more time alone and less time spent outdoors and with family.
  • More time spent playing computer games. Although there is a large population of young people and even adults who playing video games, for some people, this is used as an escape so it may be a good idea to keep an eye on the amount of time spent on these platforms.
  • Time spent sleeping. Through this research we have also found that a noticeable percentage of young people will spend more time sleeping, it may be related to the wide world of video gaming but this could also result in them not wanting to wake up for school.
  • A decrease in time spent focusing on their studies and less time thinking about the future. The future is supposed to be an exciting prospect with things like university and careers around the corner so this could be a red flag in terms of suspecting that your child is being bullied.

How you can help them

  • Having an open and honest relationship with your child/children is the first step in being able to tackle bullying as they are more likely to open up about the subject, say what has been happening to them, who is doing the bullying and how they are feeling.
  • Understand that sometimes all young people need is someone to talk to, but if there is no one to turn toward, the years of a teen or young adult can be a very solitary place.
  • A large majority of young people that have experienced bullying have and probably never will tell anyone or report it through fear and a lack of faith that it will be taken seriously.
  • A step that can be taken is to speak to their teachers and ask for them to keep an eye out for any of the above signs as a lot of bullying happens in schools away from the safety of their own homes.
  • The ones being bullied need to be able to understand that there need not be an embarrassment or a stigma attached to what is or has happened to them and need to know that there are people close to them, organisations and teachers that they can turn to for help.

In addition to our advice above, we strongly recommend that parents and guardians familiarise themselves with our research reports for the latest trends and recommendations. You may view them here.

If your child or children require further support, they can find our anonymous community here:

Trolling is not OK… Troll Trolling is not OK either!

Here at Ditch the Label, we know that bullying is a behaviour and like all behaviours, it will continue to evolve and adapt to any new environment it finds itself in unless it is challenged in a responsible way.

We are all in unchartered territories and the thing with Cyberbullying and Trolling is that often the participants will give as good as they get! Internet users have a tendency to be far more outspoken online than they would be IRL which means that they are open to more of a backlash.

It’s easier to disagree with someone through a monitor than face to face. It’s easier to laugh at someone through a keyboard and it’s easier to think of a mean comeback to the mean comment someone just posted on your wall than when it’s said to your face… but, as everyone’s Nan probably always said, 2 wrongs don’t make a right…

Is It OK to troll trolls?, 57% have been bullied in an online game, online, gaming, bullying

Here are some things to consider if you’re considering trolling the ‘troll’ who trolled you in the first place:

1. High Horse Angle 

We are so busy being outraged by people that troll, that we often miss the point. When did it become socially acceptable to call them out on their unacceptable behaviour with the very same unacceptable behaviour right back at them?! *major facepalm* There’s no harm in calling out some unacceptable behaviour in a safe and responsible way, but if they’re trolling for the sake of trolling – don’t engage! It really is the best way to disarm them. Online hate speech is not OK. If you see it happen, report it.

2. Bigger Picture Stuff

It’s no secret that there is a major failure across most social media platforms to ensure online spaces are moderated and monitored safely. Think about the bigger picture – if you report rather than engage, you’re helping these sites to see the extent of the problem and in the future, preventing the person who’s trolling from abusing someone else who’s potentially even more vulnerable. We might seem like we’re living in the age of advanced technology, but it also has it’s shortcomings, but DW, we’re hoping they’ll catch up soon enough…

3. Netiquette

We all have a base understanding of manners IRL but we are desperately lacking an online equivalent. In an age where we spend most of our time online, it makes sense for there to be some kind of moral code to the way we behave when we’re there. In short – just don’t be a D***!

4. Language

The term ‘troll’ actually is very dehumanising and dangerous. When we stop seeing one another as human – sh*t gets real! You only have to flick through GSCE History textbooks to see what happens when one power dehumanises another. Using the term “bully” and “troll” is labelling them – and we’re all about Ditching those things here 😉

69 % of all respondents have done something abusive towards another person online, online, cyberbullying

5. Accountability

You only have to look at the stats peppered throughout this article to see the extent of online abuse; it’s not only on social media, but it’s also in games too. Aren’t games s’posed to be fun?!?! Loads of people we surveyed agreed that what happens online is not real life. This shows that those who troll do it because they’re not aware of the real-life implications and don’t think that they’ll be held accountable for their actions.

6. Fighting Fire with Fire 🔥

We’ve all heard this millions of times but do we ever really reflect on what it means? We wouldn’t fight fire with fire, so why deal with bullying by bullying the people who bully? It just doesn’t make sense. If you ignore, disengage or report, you extinguish the fire altogether.

“If you troll back, you become part of the problem, not the solution.”

Have you trolled or been trolled? Join the conversation in Community – we want to hear from you!

Related:

7 things you can do if you witness someone being bullied

Recent Ditch the Label research revealed that 69% of young people have witnessed somebody else being bullied, 43% of which see it at least once a week. With this in mind, we have compiled 7 things that you can do if you see someone being bullied. Here’s how you can be the one to help:

1. Ask if they are okay/if they need help

If it feels safe to do so, approach the person that is being bullied and ask them if they are okay or if they would like you to get help on their behalf. If it looks like the person is in danger, or at risk of serious harm, seek help immediately from a trusted adult, report it immediately to a teacher, or call the police on 999.

2. Do not join in or watch the bullying take place

Do not join in with the bullying that is taking place; think of the consequences of your words/actions and how they will negatively impact the person that is being attacked. Do not stand around and watch what is happening either; the attention may encourage the perpetrator to continue exhibiting such behaviour. Act swiftly, either seek help from a trusted adult or approach and focus your energy on the person that is being bullied (only if it feels safe to do so – see point 3 for reference).

3. Get the person that is being bullied away from the scenario 

Instead of focusing your energy on the person that is doing the bullying, focus on getting the person that is being bullied away from the scenario and to a safe space. If it feels safe to do so, ask the person being bullied to come with you. Once you are away from the perpetrator, focus on keeping them calm and reassure them that everything will be alright. Make sure that that they know they are in no way to blame for what is happening to them and that they can depend on you for support. From there you can both decide what is the best course of action to take.

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4. Remember to keep calm

Often reacting in an aggressive manner can make the situation worse and can even put you at risk of physical harm. If you feel it is a safe and appropriate action to take, maybe try talking calmly to the person who is doing the bullying. Remember to challenge the behaviour, not the person – so instead of accusing the person of being a ‘bully’, calmly explain why their actions or words are causing the other person distress. For example, instead of saying “you’re upsetting them”, you could say “what you are saying/doing is upsetting them”. It might be appropriate to suggest that a teacher or responsible adult hosts a mediation between the two of them. A mediation can feel scary for those involved but is often incredibly powerful; it is essentially a face-to-face conversation between the person who is being bullied and the person doing the bullying in a controlled, equal environment.

5. After the event, ask them how you can help them

It is important that you don’t patronise the person that is experiencing bullying; make sure that they feel like the power is in their hands and that you will be there to support them every step of the way. A good way of doing this is to ask them how you can help them, or what steps they want to take next.

6. Be a friend

Your friendship could make all the difference to them right now. Spend time with them, make sure they know they are not alone and try to do things that will boost their self-esteem and confidence. It’s important that they still look after their health and maintain a good diet, exercise regime and things like meditation and yoga. It is also important that you remember to look after yourself as well and don’t take too much on.

7. Link them to Ditch the Label 

We are one of the largest anti-bullying charities and we are always here for those who have been impacted by bullying. If you or anyone you know needs help or a push in the right direction, please do not hesitate to get help in our Community here.

If you would prefer our easier to read version, please click here.

how can parents stop bullying

Can Parents make it stop?

As parents, we’re sure you’re familiar with the crippling pain and anger you feel when someone intentionally hurts or upsets your child. Its a world of mixed emotions telling you to protect your kid. The thing is, as a parent, there is only so much you can do to make the bullying stop and the power is often out of our hands. Even though you want it to end immediately, it’s important to understand that it is never an overnight thing. The most productive thing you can do is to get involved in the process in a proactive way.

What is the role of a parent in this situation?

Support. Understand. Listen.

You can’t stop it immediately, you can only influence the situation either positively or negatively. What it all boils down to is the way you conduct yourself as a parent to your child, and a parent of a child who’s being bullied. By emotionally supporting your child you can help them to work through the problem and come out the other end with their self-esteem and confidence intact.

Collaborating with the school

Overcoming bullying is all about working together with the school. You’re probably rolling your eyes at this point because well… easier said than done, right? 🙄 If the bullying is taking place at school or if the perpetrators of the bullying attend the same school as your child, it is imperative that you inform the school. Remember, just because it’s happening there, doesn’t mean they are aware of it.

Here are some pointers to consider before you speak with a teacher:

  • Every school has an Anti-Bullying Policy, make sure you familiarise yourself with this policy before speaking with the school.
  • Understand that overcoming bullying is very much a process, not an event – nothing will change overnight.
  • Weekly meetings/emails/phone calls are proactive and are needed when working towards the successful outcome.
  • Work with the school to nurture your child’s talents, hobbies and interests
  • Read our extensive guide to dealing with the school in cases of bullying 

How does it affect me as a parent?

It can be an extremely stressful time for a parent of a child who’s being bullied. Seeing your child in distress is the worst feeling but in order to help your child, you need to ensure that you’re looking after yourself too! You’ll be no good to your kid if you’re stressed and angry. Here are a handful of things to remember:

  • Seek support – (not just mates and wine) There is loads of help to be accessed in our Parents Hub surrounding what to do if your child is being bullied. Alternatively, you can seek help through the school or send an email to [email protected] and a trained mentor will get back to you.
  • Professional help -If you need to speak to a professional about your stress levels, do it. There is no shame in seeking professional help for yourself, especially when you have people depending on you! It is so important to recognise that in cases of bullying, parents suffer too.
    Most importantly, remember that you are not alone! Contact Ditch the Label to speak with a digital mentor.
  • Understanding –  It’s important to try your best to understand and empathise with your child. It’s easy to brush it aside and this can sometimes happen because hearing about your child’s experiences can unearth lots of buried emotions if you have had similar personal experiences in the past. Instead of ignoring it, use your experience to normalise their situation. Reassure them that they are not alone, lots of people go through it and draw on your own experience to help them overcome it.
  • Don’t be too hard on yourself – You aren’t expected to know how to deal with this straight away.  It’s normal to feel as though you’re fumbling around in the dark trying to help – until you start seeing results you’re likely to feel frustrated and helpless but don’t give up – this too shall pass! Remember that you are in a much better position to help your child if you’re feeling confident in yourself and your ability to help them through this. Don’t be afraid to take some “me time” to regroup and relax.
  • It’s likely they’ll push you away at times. We’ve all experienced that pang of hurt when our kids push us away but understand that they probably need their own space too. Often parents will experience their child acting out if they’re going through stressful times at school, they’ll likely carry this into other areas of their lives. It’s normal.

Further help:

anti-bullying week 2017

It’s Anti-Bullying Week!

From the 13th-17th of November, people all over the country will be reflecting on the issue of bullying. But, why do we need one designated week in a year to discuss issues surrounding bullying? Here are ten reasons:

1. Bullying affects more people than is commonly believed, it can take place anywhere, in any situation and absolutely no one is immune.

2. Contrary to popular belief, Bullying is not an outdated thing but in fact, it is a very current issue that loads of people are going through right now.

4. In a world which is becoming increasingly divided in some respects, it’s really important that we come together to overcome prejudice and discrimination in all its forms!

5. One of the most common reasons why a person will experience bullying is because of attitudes towards their appearance. The theme of Anti-Bullying Week this year is “All different, all equal.” This week is an opportunity for us all to celebrate our differences!

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3. Not only does bullying happen physically and verbally, it also increasingly takes place online. People who are bullied at school or work, now often are exposed to online bullying meaning that there really is little opportunity for escape.

6. Bullying has long-lasting, negative effects on a person’s mental health: 37% of people developed social anxiety after bullying, 36% developed depression and 24% developed suicidal thoughts.

7. By raising awareness of the catastrophic effects that bullying can have, we can help those most affected by it.

8. Anti-Bullying week is a time where we can come together to help those affected by bullying to overcome it and.

9. Anti-bullying week allows us to raise awareness to the work we do with those who bully to become better, happier and more understanding people instead of villainizing them. In doing so, we can overcome bullying all together.

10. Because if you’re going through it right now, just remember that you matter and we care (🌽 )

Find out more about Anti-Bullying week:

Anti-Bullying Week 2017