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Ask Dan: I’m Shy, How Do I Get A Girlfriend?

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Hey guys – I’m Dan. I’ve teamed up with Ditch the Label to answer some of guys’ most asked questions on the internet so you don’t have to spend hours trawling Reddit and Google for dating advice that probably won’t actually work.

So sit back, and let me tell you how to do everything from getting a girlfriend to dealing with a bad break up. This post not quite what you’re looking for? Take a look at the Lynx hub on Ditch the Label to find out more

Looking for someone 

Well, first off you gotta find the right person for you. I know you aren’t going to go up to any random girl in the street and ask her out, but it’s important to look for the right person if you want something that lasts. You need to have stuff in common, be able to get on well, and both be willing to put the work in. 

Try hanging out with someone in a friendly way, outside of school/uni/work or wherever you met them. You could see if your mates could help you out with this by getting a bit of a group together and inviting her and her mates too. A group situation takes the pressure off, and you can see a bit more of what they are really like in a social situation.

Also, you gotta do you as well – be yourself. If you try to be anyone else, she will quickly see through it, and you’ll only end up feeling miserable anyway. Yourself is the best. 

Making the first move

If you’ve gotten to know them a bit and think you guys could hit it off, this next bit is probably the scariest of them all. Trust me when I say, literally everyone is nervous of this one – you are not alone.

First off, you gotta stay calm. Try making sure you are in a nice setting, where you both feel comfortable and can chat in private. Keep breathing as well dude – you don’t wanna be panicking now. 

Start off by saying you’ve loved getting to know her, you think she is awesome and you would like to see where things might go if you guys tried seeing each other exclusively. Keep it chill, but complimentary. 

Making something last

So you’ve made it this far, and you’ve got the yes! That’s awesome! Well there are a few things you need to know about relationships to make them last. First off, you gotta be present. You have someone else in your life now who wants to spend time with you, so you might have to train yourself to turn off the PS4 and put your phone down when they are around. 

Keep the communication going all the time, so if you want a little space, be nice about it and say you are hanging out with your mates but you’ll call them later. And actually call them. Similarly, don’t play the who texted last game with them. You guys are in a relationship now, and that literally could not matter less. For more – read this article on 10 things you need to know for the most awesome relationship.

Being shy can be awesome. Some of the most amazing people in history were famously pretty introverted. Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Abraham Lincoln, Dr Seuss, Barack Obama, Steve Wozniak.

Shy people have proven time and time again that they can rule the world when they put their mind to it, so you definitely have the power to ask a girl out. You got this man, and we’ve got your back all the way. 

Check out the Lynx Hub on Ditch the Label here for more from me, and loads of other stuff on relationships, dating, confidence and more.

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