Are you ugly? Thousands of people ask this every day. It comes as no surprise then, to find out that one of the most popular questions entered into our search bars on our phones was ‘Am I Ugly?’
In fact, if you type “am I” into Google, the first suggestion that is offered to you is “am I ugly?”
Attitudes towards appearance are one of the main reasons why people are being bullied. In fact, in Ditch the Label’s 2019 Annual Bullying Survey, 59% of young people said that their appearance was the reason they were bullied.
This is not a new question. Unobtainable beauty ideals have us questioning our self-worth, based on our appearance, on a daily basis probably since the beginning of humanity.
For example in Ancient Greece, beauty standards were that men had to be buff and glossy, while women were seen as most attractive when they had red hair and a fuller-figured body. While during Victorian times, a pale face with rosy cheeks was seen as the most ‘beautiful’. These ideals and standards have changed many times over the past 1000s of years.
In 2013, a YouTube trend emerged called “Am I Ugly or Pretty?” whereby, teen girls uploaded videos of themselves asking viewers exactly that. Following this, the internet answered the question in all its force and pulled no punches.
Even in 2022, these questions are often asked on places such as Instagram, Reddit and TikTok.
This question is one that matters and is something that nearly all of us will ask ourselves at some point during our lives.
So, let’s answer it!
Are you ugly or pretty?
Am I ugly because people keep saying it to me?
No, the danger is when you are called ugly enough times you start to believe it might be true.
Am I ugly because I’m single?
No, you are not single because you are ugly, and being in a relationship doesn’t make you beautiful.
Am I ugly because I keep thinking about it?
No, so please stop telling yourself you are, our thoughts very quickly become our reality.
Am I ugly because I was dumped?
No, you were NOT dumped because you are ugly, the relationship ended and that’s ok – give yourself some time and space to heal.
Am I ugly because I’m looking different?
No, your body is just changing and you are still growing into it.
Am I ugly because I have bad skin?
No, having bad skin does not make you unattractive and is totally normal.
Am I ugly because I don’t look as pretty as a model?
No, it’s ok to not look like a model. Turns out they are the only ones that do and they make up a teeny tiny amount of the population.
Am I ugly because I’m big?
No, your dress size does not determine your beauty, case in point: Tess Holiday.
Am I ugly because my friends keep saying so?
No, they are telling you that because they are scared that they aren’t good enough and have their own fears of being ugly, this doesn’t have to be your fear as well.
Am I ugly because I feel it?
No, your self-esteem has just gotten a little too low and needs rebuilding, have a look at our support guide for tips on how to begin rebuilding your self-confidence here.
Am I ugly compared to everyone else?
No, when we compare ourselves we always come off feeling worse, to compare is to despair so stop comparing.
Am I ugly because I am fat?
No, your weight is how much your body physically weighs full stop. Every single object, mineral, plant or animal on this planet has a weight. It is what we as humans equate with this number that forces us to connect beauty with weight. There is no such thing as a ‘beautiful weight’ or an ‘ugly weight.’ There is a healthy weight and that is different for everyone.
Am I ugly because I was rejected?
No, everyone experiences rejection in all its painful forms and it does not make you unattractive. Looking for ways to deal with rejection?
Am I ugly?
No, even if you have never ever felt anything but ugly your whole life right up until now that is still not proof that you are. Here’s the secret and I know because I am talking from experience, just like happiness it is all an inside job. So if you want to start changing how you feel we have some tips to help you start here.
So does that answer the question of your attractiveness? Because there is no answer. We can never tell what is ‘ugly’ and what is ‘beautiful’ because the meaning of these terms has been changing since we first started communicating with one another.
If you aren’t feeling great about your appearance right now and need someone to talk to, Ditch the Label is here for you. Join our community and talk to us here.